End of Kindergarten

Hi sweet girl,

Kindergarten is complete, graduation ceremony was Thursday and yesterday was the last day of the school year.

During the year you had your sixth birthday, and now you frequently ask when will you be seven. Like so many kids before you, myself likely included, the next age seems better, bolder, brighter. You couldn't wait to finish kindergarten and be a BIG FIRST GRADER. As Mommy, I just want to hold onto this precious age of innocent delight and pleasure with uncensored self-expression.

During your graduation ceremony, when it was your turn to receive your certificate and take the microphone, you shared that your favorite part of Kindergarten wasn't the butterflies, or dress-up, or anything reasonably predictable, nope, not you. Your favorite part, you told the audience of nearly a hundred people, your favorite part was clean-up. Clean up!? A few parents asked if I knew this would be your answer, I didn't have words to hide my surprise. This doesn't necessarily transition from school to home, unfortunately, although you do like vacuuming, sometimes.

Then later in the park, during the picnic, your wish for first grade as you released your butterfly that you watched metamorphosis from caterpillar to chrysalis to the winged "Painted Lady," wonderfully named "Banana," was that everyone would do a good job.

Whether these expressions were truly yours, or influenced by what you thought we would want to hear, I'm not sure. I think though, they were yours.

You play with nearly everyone in your class (boys are still pretty stinky), but your BFF's are still, always, the P and the S. Right now S is in England with her family, but we've already sent her a letter. I held you up to the big wall map downstairs and showed you where England is, and how S took a plane that went all the way across the US and then jumped the Pond. Your eyes grew big, somehow comprehending and not the distance. I enjoy thinking of the day you will cross the US, cross the pond, and visit a land so far to find people are the same everywhere and the world is a big, yet small place.

You still love sleeping with Mommy and/or Daddy. Even if you start the night in your own bed, by 4 or 5AM you make the short trek from your room to ours and climb in, snuggling up to me. "Are you my Snuggle Bug?" I ask you sometimes. "Yes!" you say in words, or nods, or smiles.

You are learning so much, from me, from Daddy, from your teacher, whom you adore, and friends. Each of us teaches you a tiny bit, contributing to the whole that is you. From me, you have a love of books, interest in reading. You've come a long way, little one, and can read many words out of many books, especially those by Dr. Seuss. I am so proud, so emotional, feeling your delight when you correctly read a word. We read at bedtime nearly every night, sometimes you read, sometimes I read. I have to thank Borders as well, for starting their book reading game, because it's inspired you to read 10 books mostly by yourself to get the free book from the bookstore. I made you a deal, as you would say, that if you don't like the free book (as they're for a little older age group), I would buy you another book you do like. You just asked me not half an hour ago, looking at the page of books we've read, when, Mommy, when are we going to the bookstore to get your free book? Today, love, you and I are going today.

After we completed reading book 8, in your anticipation of completing you grabbed a short book from your room, and insisted to Daddy and I that you had read it in your room. Nice try, but Daddy and I agreed you had to read it out loud, in front of us. You weren't willing to read it again, but ran up with a crayon to write the title on the page. It took a few days of coaxing to say that book didn't count, love, and by the way, now's a good time to learn that short-cutting doesn't pay. The whole point is to learn how to read, the free book is just a bonus.

From Daddy, you are learning to love sports. Daddy has been coaching the "big kids" at school - the fifth through eighth graders in basketball and futsal (indoor soccer), which inspired your request, I'm sure, for a basketball hoop for your birthday. I'm delighted you are getting this from him, because organized sports aren't something I can give you.

One thing Daddy and I both want for you is a good college. We have slightly different ideas on what "good" is, but after a impassioned debate on the way to Grandma's last weekend, agreed that what we both want is somewhere that is good for you. Daddy would prefer it *not* be his school - SF State. I would be fine with UC Davis. Daddy would prefer a school that is strong academically and competitive within college sports. Although Davis does have sports teams, he's thinking more along the lines of Berkeley or Stanford. I saw dollar signs flash before my eyes and started a 529 for you this week!

What we finally agreed was that we would wait and see what school suited you. We would give you all the information we could to see what setting would suit you. Davis was good for me, but Santa Barbara may have been as well. SF State got Daddy out of So Cal to the bay area, which he has finally come to enjoy after a decade and a half!

Last week, when you said you don't want to go to college, do you have to? You want to stay in this house with Daddy and me forever. (Forever!) I said, wanting to ease this into your head, knowing that force and pressure never inspire. Honey, you can go to college now like you go to Kindergarten. There are good schools close by (Berkeley, and even Stanford is reasonable with a car), and you can go during the day and come home at night. You were pretty relieved, I can imagine that it's a pretty scary thought at six years old to think of leaving us now. This was a good enough answer for you, and I gave you full permission to change your mind.

The balance is shifting, I know, to where you want more time with your friends, and a bit less time with me. But for now, I treasure our Mommy and Ava days, hours, and moments, where sometimes it is making muffins, and sometimes it's that book before bed.

I'm so proud of you, my sweet girl, and as much as you frustrate me some days with the attitude I want to put in a box, I know it's important in becoming uniquely, you.

Do you know I love you?
One million,
plus infinity.
Mommy

Six

This morning when you woke, you said to me "Mommy, you have to tell me Happy Birthday!"

And so I did, enthusiastically.

What can I tell you about the darling, delightful, happy, charming, sometimes capricious and and seldom petulant, little girl that is you.

Food. You are skeptical of food you haven't tried, and even skeptical of food you used to like. You don't like grilled cheese sandwiches and french fries, perhaps the only one of a million your age. You do like tofu, a decent amount of vegetables, including artichokes, broccoli, carrots, peas, and brussel sprouts. You will sometimes eat chicken, sometimes eggs, which you used to love, and now don't, and seldom any kind of beef, and never bacon. Chocolate is your sweet of choice, but you do ask first and sometimes challenge if you don't like the answer, but I've never seen you sneak candy when you thought I wasn't looking.

School. You love kindergarten. You love, love, love your teacher Miss Brooke, and Daddy and I do as well. We got extremely lucky in your kindergarten teacher, who considers you one of her favorites, even if she can't say that out loud. You are learning to read, and delighted when you can read whole short sentences. Sometimes you guess at words rather than sounding them out. You love math - we play games with adding, and after watching a lot of Schoolhouse Rock we've started playing multiplying games. We're doing a bit of subtraction and no division, as of yet.

Friends. Your two BFF's as of this writing are Perrine and Sufi. You want to write them letters when you're not at school, want play dates on the weekends, these are your friends and you are happy about that. Miss Brooke said you often make up games during recess - once you three were detectives searching for clues.

Last week was your spring break, and I decided to take spring break right along with you. We didn't do much outside the house or the city, except go to the Monterey Bay Aquarium with Daddy and Papa, where you loved all the activities involving pushing buttons. Personally, I liked the seahorses and jelly fish best, but you, it was all about the buttons.

You are still the smallest kid in your class, but your personality is ten feet tall. You are still shy around new people, and Daddy and I are asking that you at least acknowledge the many compliments you get with a "thank you" and greet someone new with "Hi." You're getting there, easing your way into social graces, and I am not going to cajole or force you far beyond your comfort zone.

You like playing with your barbies, but you also love your battery-operated train set. You told Daddy you wanted a basketball net for your birthday, after watching Daddy coach his boys' basketball team, not after watching our bracket fall apart in March Madness.

The other day you asked me how can you become a princess. One of your friends, evidently, wants to be a princess when she grows up. I replied, honestly, that either her mommy and daddy have to be the queen and king, or she has to marry a prince. Then I asked you, what do you want to be when you grow up?

A doctor. You replied. I asked whether you wanted to be a doctor for people or for animals, and you said animals. Okay, works for me, I thought, wondering what it would be next year. I'll have to remember to ask.

All in all, my love, you are the best little girl I could ask for, and I wouldn't trade you for anything. I can't believe it's been six years since you exited my body, and made your grand appearance in the world. I can still remember holding you in the hospital bed, singing "just call me angel, I'm your two AM angel..."

I love you sweetie, I love you one million. And that's a lot.

Mommy