Trick or Treat!

The afternoon started with a party at your school with Daddy dressed as a nun. Honey, I can tell you, your Daddy is just not like other people. Someday I'll tell you the story of how we met on Halloween five years ago today and he was dressed as a woodland fairy.

We got home and had about an hour before his class would start so he got to work carving the pumpkin I'd scraped out the day before. After 30 minutes, there was a bat carved into the face of the pumpkin. Then he was racing out the door to class.


I thought for sure that my computer class homework would take me all night and we were stuck at home watching Pixar movies. But no, all it took was for the duration of Bug's Life for me to get it done "good enough" and prompting from you even though you had no idea what was in store if we left the house!

So it was your first real trick or treating Halloween. All the lights were off in our 'hood so we headed over to St. Mary's Park, the area known for being easy to walk and trick or treater friendly. Last year we tried this, but started at our friends' house, got invited inside for a drink, and never left! This year with Daddy in class, you and I headed out to see how long our enthusiasm and energy would hold.

We started with one house, you excited, no doubt, and I prepped you to say "Trick or Treat" to get candy. We got up the steps, rang the bell, and a boy about ten answered the door. Stage fright struck and the practiced words wouldn't come out. He thought you looked so cute he gave you four or five mini candy bars anyway!

We went to two more houses, this time you did squeak out the candy getting phrase and everyone thought you were cute beyond words. One house was "too spooky" for you decorated with orange lights, tombstones, and dry ice, so we wrapped up the evening with a visit to Amy and Jack's house. We hung out for a minute and after that I asked if you wanted to go to more houses or home. "I want to go home." Fair enough.

Now you're in the bath tub, I'm typing this blog, and I just need to format my homework and start packing for my cruise in two days!

Happy Halloween, my little Tinker Bell fairy. I love you.

Falling

It's funny to me, little one, as you're learning more words, how to use the words, how to combine words into new exciting ways, that there are two seasons that are verbs, and two that are nouns.

I've thought about writing to you so much over the last couple months, feeling guilty about not writing, telling myself not to feel guilty, feeling momentarily inspired but nowhere near a computer, feeling uninspired when I am.

Computers are work to me; for many they're a fun tool to learn many things, connect with others, but me, in my line of work, they're work. It's hard sometimes to do more work when I've done work all day.

Your Nana was playing with you all weekend as I escaped with my two wonderful friends down to the Santa Cruz mountains. When you're older, my love, and escape seems impossible, it will be then I'll call you and say "go!" I was reaching a breaking point, where I was so stressed out at the end of the day after giving everything at work, more than I had, and all that was left when I got home was stress and upset at you and Daddy for doing nothing, and this is when there is the need for escape. Perhaps you will become a caretaker like me, I can't say I do or don't wish that on you. It's good taking care of others, but the forgotten one is usually wearing my shoes. I don't know what I'd wish really, except that you remember you. That you put yourself before your manager, your job, your mate, your children, your mother. Your Daddy is pretty good at this, but I get upset because who's taking care of me? Ah wait, that's my job.

Anyway....

You are delightfully, completely, intoxicatingly three. You love the movie Cars and if we let you, it would be on every night. In fact, it was on every night while your Daddy and Nana were watching you. For me, I need a break sometimes. I need days and nights without TV, where you play in your room while I clean up, or you say "we could play peek a boo and hide and seek and stop and go" as if they're all one big sequential game.

You love hide and seek... I count, you hide, and when I get to "ready or not" then you reveal your magnificent hiding space.

You're becoming a bit less shy. The manager at Hobee's still scares you but not like before. Someday you may actually tell her goodbye when we leave, or as you do to others, make the psssbbbttt sound like a hippo.

You love wearing your schooldresses to school. Given your choice your preference is first school dress, second skirt, third and only as an absolute last resort, pants. I suspect it's because you're a ballerina and you know ballerinas don't wear pants onstage.

You have learned how to take your room from clean to disaster in 2.5 minutes. This isn't a good thing. The good thing is that you're pretty good at taking your coat and shoes into your room and not leaving them in the kitchen when we get home. My many requests are paying off!

You love things "like Mommy." Your toenails are painted purple right now, "like Mommy" and you point this out every time your toes are uncovered. Sometimes you want a ponytail "like Mommy" you remember and say aloud frequently that Mommy and Ava are "big girls" and Daddy is a "big boy."

Your favorite plush animals are little rabbit and purple bear. Purple bear loves little rabbit because she's a baby. They each have their own blankets and chaos reigns when we can't find them. One of them always accompanies you to school, and it's usually little rabbit. There are also sister rabbit and mommy rabbit, when little rabbit needs more love.

Your friends at school are Tatiana and Inwoo. When I asked what you did at school each day, you predictably say you played with one of them or both. If I pick you up from school, you're with them playing ballerinas and wearing tulle tutus.

You love to take pictures with your camera, or lacking a camera, build one out of legos and take pictures. I asked once, of a green tower of connected legos, whether it was a castle or a car? "ITS A CAMERA!" you replied, implying, how could I not know that?

I adore you, I love you, more than there is air in the sky, more than there is water in the ocean, more than there is earth on this planet. I love you.

Mommy