My little one, you are now three years old. We hosted a wonderful birthday party for you on Sunday with forty people - half of them kids - and you shared all of your toys easily. There were times during the three hour fiesta where you wanted me to hide out with you in an empty room and I understood, all too well, that sometimes you just want a break from the people.
What passes through my mind over and over is that three years ago I was resting in a hospital room with you in a hospital bassinet by my side. We were both healthy, both resting after a birth that wasn't too bad, everything considered, but what was so amazing was that after 41 -1/2 weeks of being on the inside, you were suddenly on the outside.
The first thing to figure out was nursing, which was easy enough after my milk supply arrived, and since then we've figured out so many things together that I easily loose track. You've taught me so much, my little love, about how to be a good mom, how to care for you, and that when I don't care for myself caring for you becomes challenging. You've taught me about love, not the fairy tail romance kind that new lovers project, but the lasting unconditional kind. I love you at all times, not just when you behave in a way that pleases me and not just when I'm in a good mood and have slept enough. I love you in all the crabby times, in all the moody times, in all the tantrum times. I love you for being so gosh darn smart it astounds me and I love you for those moments when you say "I'm the baby girl" and you want me to hold you like an infant.
I love you when you have delightfully appropriate funny responses to normal questions, like at your party when Papa asked you what time it was since you were wearing a watch and you responded, "It's time for my birthday party!"
I love you when it's time to go to bed and I say we'll read one book and you say "two books," and I acquiesce. I love you when you play quietly in your room and I love you when you jump high on your new birthday trampoline. I love you even when you draw on the walls, which fortunately hasn't happened in a while, and I love you when you cry to try and get your way.
I love when you say that I'm going to yoga because the babies are on the inside because somehow you know I teach prenatal yoga. I love when you spontaneously jump into Ava-warrior pose or downward dog. I love your virasana and your baddha konasana and may my own poses be someday as open as yours!
I love when you have to give me a "hug and a kissie" before you leave with Daddy for school and I love you when you cry at the door because you don't want to leave me.
I love you so much, my little one, that it makes it that much easier to love others more than before.
I loved you when you were a baby on the inside, and even more now that you have three years on the outside.
Love, forever,
your mommy
